sexta-feira, 11 de abril de 2008

Shit happens (e não há nada que você possa fazer…)


Shit happens, originado a partir do termo stuff happens é uma observação divertida de que às vezes coisas ruins acontecem para qualquer pessoa sem alguma razão em especial.

Independente de quem você é, do que você faça ou no que você acredite, estas coisas vão continuar acontecendo. É como se diz por aí, "C'est la vie".

Sem querer fazer qualquer análise sobre as razões pelas quais estas coisas ruins acontecem, aí vai uma lista interessante com diferentes abordagens sobre a questão.

PS: Em tempo! A explicação apresentada no filme Forest Gump é apenas uma invenção sobre a origem do termo.

SHIT HAPPENS

1. Taoism: Shit happens.
2. Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
3. Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
4. Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
5. Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
6. Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
7. Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
8. Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
9. Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
10. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
11. Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
12. Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
13. Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
14. Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
15. Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
16. Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
17. Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
18. Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
19. Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
20. Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
21. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
22. Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
23. Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
24. Creationism: God made all shit.
25. Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
26. Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
27. Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
28. Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
29. Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
30. Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
31. Darwinism: This shit was once food.
32. Capitalism: That's MY shit.
33. Communism: It's everybody's shit.
34. Feminism: Men are shit.
35. Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
36. Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
37. Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
38. Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
39. Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
40. Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
41. Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
42. Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
43. Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
44. Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
45. Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
46. Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
47. Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock Knock Shit happens.
48. Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
49. Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
50. Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
51. Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
52. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
53. Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
54. Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
55. Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
56. Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
57. Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
58. Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
59. Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
60. Atheism: What shit?
61. Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
62. Nihilism: No shit.

And of course we must add...

Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

Um comentário:

Anônimo disse...

Sheer genius! thanks for sharing!

Peace